The same goes for him if the shoe was on the other foot. Most secrets are ok to keep and not tell anyone else. Keeping spending secrets is a major violation of trust and a fast track to disaster. Dishonesty equals disunity. I guess that’s how that fits in Joe. But if you’re doing these things, you might be taking your “privacy” to the extreme by being overly secretive about your relationship. I could barely function. I keep secrets. Knowing when to keep things to yourself and when to fess up to your man isn’t nearly as tricky as you might think. Posted Jul 06, 2017 It’ll make you feel guilty, and put you on edge. If you love someone, you shouldn’t find it easy to deceive them, even if you’re just lying by omission rather than lying to their face. They need to know to tell an adult as soon as they can. For example, if you know that a kid says he’s going to beat someone up or steal something, then that’s a secret you should tell to an adult who can help. These 9 subjects are expert-approved ones. Reply. August 2, 2013 — Sandra Upson. Most secrets in relationships aren't good — that much is true. 4 Reasons Why Keeping Secrets Can Damage A Relationship 1. Keeping financial secrets "is almost never a good sign" and usually signals other, unresolved relationship problems, says Eric Dammann, PhD, a New York-based clinical psychologist and financial coach. Dreams are ok to keep a secret. Keeping secrets can impact relationships with friends, classmates, and co-workers. They got married and seem happy now. I have this friend from my closest friend group, who used to like me and flirt even after he got engaged. I think some secrets are ok. Some things are ok though, if it is needed to know about to support you. flameoftherhine. In the grand scheme of things, it's a bad idea to keep major secrets from your partner. Telltale Language Reveals Who Is Keeping a Secret. 1 decade ago. My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. It’s one thing knowing your partner wants to keep things secret for a few weeks, or maybe even a few months, until circumstances have changed or a certain event has passed. It is wonderful. First, it’s a silent lie. It all depends on the secret. I started to have painful periods. 1. But that promise ruined my Ramadan, made me unhappy all through eid and its just generally really making me very miserable. My mother and I have a very close relationship. I don’t have these terrible pains each month. June 12, 2016, 9:20am #12. 1 0. mccmb02. You might be able to accept secrecy knowing that, on a precise date, things are going to be changing. Before knowing he had a girlfriend and planed to get married I flirted back, but after finding out I distanced myself. Well, yes and no. That aside I'd like to talk about secrets in general. My doctor put me on medication that stopped my periods. You don’t need to tell your mom everything. You are entitled every bit of privacy you want. If you're not quite ready to spill your guts and keep the mess under cover, you can still get the best parts of secret-keeping out of your daily life right now. Can You Keep a Secret? My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. While hiding money isn't necessarily indicative of infidelity, he says, it usually is "a way of avoiding" deeper problems in the relationship. Disagreement. 4. My doctor put me on medication that stopped my periods. “Keeping secrets” is a bit different from lying or being dishonest. OK, so we all know that keeping secrets in relationships is bad, right? Reassure your children that it is okay to break a promise not to tell a secret about touching. It is wonderful. I promised a friend that I would keep a secret. It is normal. Real fam, do you think it is EVER ok to keep a secret from bae? When someone tells you a secret, listen very closely to the secret. Is it ok to keep a secret like this? As a result, you'd like to get revenge by telling her "secret" to her spouse. Potentially Damaging Secrets: Sometimes, kids are asked to keep secrets with the best of intentions, but those secrets can still be damaging. I started to have painful periods. If a friend tells you what she bought Sue for her birthday, it is ok to keep that a secret. Most people struggle to keep secrets from their partner and suffer from guilt when they do, and that’s the way it should be. If your man knows you’re keeping secrets or those secrets come out when you least expect it, he might not trust you anymore. 2. Remind children frequently not to keep unsafe secrets. But it’s quite another keeping a relationship secret indefinitely. I don’t have these terrible pains each month. Is it OK to keep this a secret from my mom? I could barely function. So good to hear from you my friend. Jack Wellman November 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm. January 25, 2012 — Maria Konnikova. Quietly disagreeing with a decision a spouse makes undermines the relationship in two ways. Make sure you both know that it is a secret. Tough Love; By Averi Clements; Lots of couples prefer to keep their love lives quiet and there’s nothing wrong with that. That's a secret that's not OK to keep at all. However, keeping secrets is wrong if it means someone else could get hurt or get into big trouble. It also means that I'm being incredibly dishonest with another friend, and risking losing that friendship. Second, feelings of disagreement have to settle somewhere, and when they are unresolved, they usually turn into resentment. Try to remember that you can only talk about that secret with the person who told it to you. Sure. It was 5 days of hell. From your question description, it seems that: 1) You are not in a good relationship with your sister. Keeping Secrets Is Bad for You—This Is Why Hiding information from others is not as stressful as thinking about it. Proverbs 25:9 When arguing with your neighbor, d on’t betray another person’s secret. Children need to know they should never keep secrets that break safety rules for private body parts. You are an adult with your own life. Maybe You Shouldn't, Even If You Can. Proverbs 12:23 The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly. I figure I'm starting to hate this girl just because I promised to keep things a secret. Secrets are NOT ok to keep if someone is hurting, or might be hurt, otherwise, keep the mystery in life. How does that fit into what you wrote, Jack? For example, if a husband is planning a surprise birthday party for his wife, that’s a “secret” that’s being kept. Tell them you will believe them, even if the secret is about someone you know. Does that way of … I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. 3. That is a great exception. Despite popular belief having a best friend doesn't mean you keep nothing from them. Some spouses don't share passwords to each other e-mails and still mantain happy marriages. 10 Differences Between Keeping Your Relationship Private & Keeping It A Secret. And while keeping a secret and lying outright are different behaviors, a parent whose example puts secrets and lies in similar strata can be showing a child that it’s ok to be only partially honest about important things. There are some secrets it's OK to keep from your partner. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. 4. Csummers June 12, 2016, 7:36am #11. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. It’s ok to fantasize about what an ex did in bed every now and then. Just keep these fantasies to yourself to protect your partner’s ego. The problem is, there really are some secrets you can keep. 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